High school, it seems, has changed. It has become competitive. Young men and women — 13 to 18 years old — must work more or less tirelessly to ensure their spot at a college deemed worthy to them and their families. So rather than living their adolescent lives — lives brimming with desires and vitality, with vim, vigor, and brewing lust — these kids are working at old age homes, cramming for tests, popping Adderall just to make the literal and proverbial grade. And for what? So they can go to a school that puts them in debt for the rest of their lives. School has become a great vehicle of capitalism: it quashes the revolution implicit in adolescence while simultaneously fomenting perpetual indebtedness.
I wonder if you know yet that you’ll leave me. That you
are a child playing with matches and I have a paper body.
You will meet a girl with a softer voice and stronger arms and she
will not have violent secrets or an affection for red wine or eyes
that never stay dry. You will fall into her bed and I’ll go back
to spending Friday nights with boys who never learn my last name.
I have chased off every fool who has tried to sleep beside me
You think it’s romantic to fuck the girl who writes poems about you.
You think I’ll understand your sadness because I live inside my own.
But I will show up at your door at 2 am, wild-eyed and sleepless.
and try and find some semblance of peace in your breastbone
and you will not let me in. You will tell me to go home.
This is my Nanna and Pa in about 1967, they met when my nanna was 15 and my pa was 16 at a music festival, and strangely enough they were both wearing the exact same colored clothes. I’m not exactly sure what happened after that, but I do know that after about a month of being together, my Pa gave my nanna a friendship/love ring, imprinted on it “Janis Brown-Neaves* IWLF” *my nannas name, what did IWLF stand for? ‘It Will Last Forever’. There love did last forever, my nanna passed away on the 9th of March 2013, after battling cancer for 14 years. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1999 and after her first chemo lost all her hair, my Pa shaved all his hair off. He attended every single doctor/hospital appointment, besides two where he couldn’t. He cooked for her and looked after her all though her 14 years with cancer. 5 days before she passed, she got told she only had two weeks left. My pa didn’t attend the doctor appointment where she got told the tragic news as he was getting a cat scan, so he got told the news when he arrived at the hospital. As soon as he heard, he held my nannas hand, looked into her eyes and kissed her. That might seem significant, but my nanna and pa had only ever pecked when they kissed each other, but this was a full on kiss. From what my aunty who saw it told me- it was magical, just like a fairy tale. My pa did not leave her side once, he didn’t sleep, barely ate, he stuck by her side holding her hand even when she got to the stage where she couldn’t talk or open her eyes. She wore her friendship/love ring from my Pa every day of her life, and passed away wearing it. Out of all of the love stories I’ve heard about, my Nanna and Pas story is by far my favourite.
I hope we have something just as beautiful as this in the upcoming generations.
I’m about to cry..